no sleep for the damned
by cartoon moomba
Summary: A compilation of fleeting moments in time. "Count down: Ten years, three moths and eighteen days since his father died, and he can still hear his laughter."


**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy X and all that is associated with it does not belong to me.

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_no sleep for the damned  
**Part One: Besaid Temple - Blitzball Tournament**  
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1. promise

Valefor's promises are futile, Lulu thinks as she awaits for the chamber doors to open; the fayth's voice echoes in repetitive hymns throughout the closed room, and she knows when Yuna emerges she won't be the same, no matter what the results.

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2. difference

The village is humble, the temple walls cracking in places – people inside bow down silently to the towering statues, and Tidus finally sees nothing of Zanarkand in this strange broken world.

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3. song

The emptiness of the chamber and Valefor's hymns remind Kihmari of home and the silence of the mountain, but it's for Yuna, and he'll stand here enduring the memories however long he must before it ends.

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4. home

Besaid is the only home Wakka has ever known – through the attacks, through the fires, through Chappu's death and Lulu's constant disdain. He looks back on it for what may be the last time ever and realizes he never wants to leave it.

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5. treasure

Rikku signed up for this expedition only because of the promise of new machina discoveries – even if it meant having to endure Brother – but as she gazes upon the sleeping form of the blonde boy they picked up on the way, she realizes that he may just be the most interesting treasure here.

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6. doubt

For the brief moment that she waits, Yuna can feel the gazes resting on her back and the hope lingering in the air and she's scared that Valefor might not come after all – but then the great creature is there, extending its beak towards her shaking hands and for her, the world is rightfully flipped upright again.

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7. excuses

"That's it," Lulu's eyes flash in the fire, "Enough, Wakka!" As he watches her retreating back into her tent, back drawn and shoulders tense, Wakka sighs and wonders as to why he can never get things right.

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8. ghost

"That's the sword you gave Chappu," Lulu's voice betrays her accusations and she turns away from the startled boy in front of her, refusing to see Chappu's ghost in his eyes.

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9. gifts

The chest is heavy with various trinkets and she brushes her hand along its side before leaving to follow Wakka and Lulu, knowing that packing it was the last time she could put her mind off from the long journey ahead – if she just played pretend, the ship to Kilika was merely a stop in their long vacation.

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10. reasons

She can't bring herself to speak as she gazes out upon the scenery below that is Besaid – she reminds herself once more that it is because of memories like this that she is so set on finishing her pilgrimage.

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11. belief

He feels uncomfortable praying to a god he doesn't believe in – besides, who needs luck, anyway? – but he does it anyway, just because he feels the sombre mood calls for it; he closes his eyes and lets the fresh mountain air wash over him.

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12. passion

Kihmari's thoughts rage as he charges at the frightened human before him – who is this _boy _to think he could travel with his summoner? If he cannot beat an exiled Ronso such as himself, then he has no place to stand beside Yuna.

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13. wind

Tidus hasn't noticed how clean the air of Spira is until Yuna brings it up – there are no fumes, no machina, only the sea breeze against his face and the waves blending against each other below them. He decides, after a moment's pause, that it is a good break from Zanarkand.

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14. beginning

"A man named Jecht told me. He was my father's guardian." Yuna smiles, and he hates how things around him always lead back to his old man.

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15. open space

Sometimes, Tidus can't help but be vary of the open sea – if a thing such as that managed to take down his father, then doesn't he have the right to be slightly afraid?

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16. countdown

Ten years, three moths and eighteen days since his father died, and he can still hear his laughter.

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17. purpose

Kilika is beautiful, Jecht thinks in some humane part of his alienated brain; it's a pity that they all had to die.

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18. hope

She can see the light leave his eyes as he watches the aftermath of Kilika's destruction; "Don't lose hope," she wants to whisper to him, but Wakka is already tugging her away towards the village.

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19. pillar

"Please, take me to them." Yuna is this pillar of hope, Tidus begins to think, and in his opinion she is far too young to take on such a serious job.

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20. sending

It would have been a beautiful sunset, if not for the wooden caskets floating before them.

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21. fiends

He listens to Lulu, and wonders if one day he will hate humanity enough to wish to kill them.

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22. first time

It's her first time dancing above the dead, and the tears block out everything she has learned until it's only her, the pyreflies, and her bursting hope for peace.

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23. disbelief

"The end? What's the end?" He asks and her gaze refuses to meet his, her voice wavering in her throat and she stays silent, afraid he might hear the tremors.

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24. tears

"But, no more tears next time." It makes her ashamed because she knows she can't stow away the sympathy and pain she feels for the sake of others.

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25. guardian?

Yuna's determined on this. "Well, if not a guardian, then I… I just want him near by." Lulu's face cracks into a rare smile; poor Wakka hasn't realized yet that his little Yuna is growing up.

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26. reminder

Yuna doesn't care what they think of her words – she wants him near by. Having him here… somehow makes her feel closer to her father, and right now, she wants those memories to give her the strength she needs.

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27. understanding

Kihmari watches from afar as Yuna turns her back on the blond boy, her face losing some of its former light at his words. The Ronso turns his head away in amusement; even he knows what is going on, and can't help but laugh at the now confused human.

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28. race

"H-HEY!" Lulu can't help but laugh as they run after Yuna up the steps – Kihmari notices this and glances her way, and she shakes her head at him and smiles. "Kids."

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29. talent

Yuna falls behind the group to talk to them as they approach the Kilika Temple. "Don't be scared," she whispers, and Tidus feels as if she had read his mind.

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30. time travel

He can't help but hope – maybe Chappu isn't dead, maybe he's caught up somewhere in another time, another place – but then Lulu's harsh words cut through this dream and he realizes again that there is no bringing his younger brother back.

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31. memory

He stashes the thought deep below his anger – his old man was dead, gone for over ten years, and someone such as himself didn't deserve to be kept alive in memories.

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32. smiling

The words are out of her mouth before she could stop them – "I only have as many Guardians as people I can trust." – and after the woman scoffs and leaves, she turns to take a glance at Sir Jecht's son – he's watching her, confused, and she smiles; he may be Sir Jecht's son, but his growing presence is nice in its own right.

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33. calm

Going through the trials almost brings a sense of familiar peace to Tidus's mind.

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34. fayth

"The fayth are people who gave their lives willingly to defeat Sin," and Tidus begins to wonder just how much of a threat Sin really is.

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35. connected

The song resounded in his ears, and his lips moved in synch to the words as he closed his eyes and sang his father's favourite lullaby. If he tried hard enough, he could feel his mother's hands running through his hair and he was back home.

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36. fame

The way they cheer for Yuna is the same they used to cheer for him, and he cannot help but hate it. So he screams, and it helps just a little bit.

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37. denial

"There is a city there! Really!" She's not living in denial, she's merely following the dreams of her childhood.

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38. lights

She wants to visit it, at least once – the city with the flashing lights that never sleeps, the one with no worries or cares or troubles or responsibilities. She wants to be there… at least once, to know what it's like.

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39. insight

"He hates his father. What he did, what he was." Lulu's insight on him in such a short time shocks him somewhat – who knew that he was so easy to read…?

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40. parents

"I…I was five, then. So I remember them… a little." She feels guilty as soon as she says this, watching Wakka's face fall, because he has no such luxury as herself.

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41. explanation

"The tournament is held to celebrate his fiftieth year as Maestro." Kihmari grunts slightly to himself; looks like even Lulu was growing warm towards the newcomer. Yuna notices this and sends him a smile, and he begins to wonder if maybe this boy isn't as bad as he first thought.

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42. sinking feeling

The strange man begins speaking, making promises and using pretty words, and Tidus gets the uneasy feeling in his stomach that he always hates. He catches his glance at Yuna, and he's certain that this is not someone he will be overly fond of.

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43. auron

There was no Zanarkan Auron and no Spira Auron – Auron was Auron, and he knew that if he found him, everything would be right again.

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44. crowd

Yuna looks uncomfortable standing there in the midst of all the people, so he smiles and lets her be for a few minutes before coming in to save her.

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45. whistling

They must look silly to the other people, Yuna thinks as she places her fingers in her mouth in a fail attempt at whistling, and Kihmari's snort from somewhere behind them proves that, much to her chagrin.

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46. forthcoming

He can see them outside the window over the top of his glasses, laughing over a cone of icecream, and Auron wonders how much of Tidus's life he ruined by doing this.

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47. friends

Seeing two of his kin he once knew is painful – he is not one to lose control, but the human's voice and the leering smirks on the Ronso's faces are enough to make him snap in anger. Then he realizes that Yuna is gone, and the shame that he let her out of his sight begins to sink in – the growling Ronso are not worth it compared to Yuna, and he turns tail and follows Lulu.

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48. miracle

Tidus is convinced Lulu has some special powers beyond her magic, because he most certainly did not see her jumping on to that Al Bhed ship.

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49. happiness

He sees Lulu's sign flaring up high in the sky, and as he scores that final goal in the water, it's the happiest he's felt in quite a long time.

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50. anima

The aeon is grotesque, and beautiful and wounded, and her cries throughout the stadium are something that send a haunting chill down his spine – her presence bring back memories, and Tidus doesn't like the memories that come.

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51. simplicity

The humans are amazed by such simple things, Seymour thinks in amusement as he dismisses Anima.

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52. water

The excitement in the air is tense, dancing and twirling and whispering – he pauses beneath the shadows of the stands, eyes on the sphere slowly forming out of Lucan ocean water – so pure and bright and tainted with Sin and blood – and he thinks that yes, Zanarkand was beautiful and advanced, but nothing could beat being home.

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53. trophy

He's holding the Blitzball Tournament in his hands – it's heavy and big but he feels as if he's floating on clouds – and as he hands it over to his team, he thinks that this was the perfect way to go out.

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54. laugh

Auron is laughing, laughing to the clear blue sky beneath his hands, and he's crying, crying, wondering how much of a human soul Auron really has in him.

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55. early advancement

He doesn't need to know this – his old man is _dead dead dead a hundred times over _dammit – and he doesn't _want _to know that Sin is Jecht – Jecht is Sin – his old man is a murderer – because it's too early for Auron to be breaking his hopes.

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56. fade

_Will I ever go home? To Zanarkand? _And knowing his father, Tidus knows that he will not see Zanarkand for a very long time.

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57. eyes

Yuna's eyes are Braska's, Yuna's voice is Sarah's, and Yuna's shining hope is purely her own.

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58. fake smile

Even attempting to fake a smile hurts, and the laughing sounds like crying, but it's better than letting them see the tears so he does it anyway, and Yuna joins in, and he catches the group's startled looks over his shoulder and then they're really laughing, because for him, it's easy to forget.

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59. running

"I'll come running. I promise." The words sound foreboding, almost menacing, and he feels that somewhere, the fates are laughing. He just doesn't quite understand why.

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60. don't forget to smile

Her eyes are downcast as she says this, her lips stretched in a smile, and they can never tell whether she's breaking on the inside or not.

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61. ruins

So this was a city, huh? Tidus frowns, and wonders if Zanarkand is anything like this right now.

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62. innocence

His questions are innocent, genuine, and as she recites the Yevon passages to him in answer by heart, she begins to doubt them for the first time.

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63. view

His views are refreshing, new, unheard of – and they hurt when he talks. A lot.

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64. world's edge

A thrill passes through her as she says the name – _"In Zanarkand."_ – in her mind's eye it's alive, bursting with life, cooped up from the rest of the world – but in her heart, she knows there's nothing but pyreflies dancing their cruel performance of death, singing and bursting and too pretty to be the souls of the dead.

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End file.
